Day 188

Today is the union picnic at Beachfront Park in honor of Labor Day. I am a union member and have been forever. For the last six years, Gene and I have attended together. This year he declined. Since his stroke, he scrambles for words and is self-conscious about it. I do that too and I don’t think I’ve had a stroke. Hollie’s intrusive neighbor is making her feel unsafe. Makes me even more grateful for my wonderful neighbors.

Day 187

Yesterday I gave the basics of ULC ministry to Jon and it brought back memories and stories. He is creative and will do well. Gene brought fish that I shared with Chris and Jon. Gene’s photo was in the paper holding the very fish that they had for dinner. Gene is much better since he can get out on the ocean. I like my part, sharing the catch. I am restless, pacing, need to focus and get moving.

Day 186

Walked down to get my haircut and buy yogurt and didn’t need to sit down on the curb. Need to replenish my good bacteria as the antibiotics kill everything. I would like a normal routine day. Basically, I’ve been in the house for a week and that’s enough. Had good conversations yesterday, both e-mail, telephone, and in person. Made changes in the senior center schedule with Julia. Loved hearing from Marjorie, my first BBF back in seventh grade. 

Day 185

I know I’m getting better. I’m restless and looking around for something to do. I still don’t do anything but noticing is a big step forward. I’m tired of myself. Today I’m getting a haircut. It’s time to change it to a shorter cut or one with more layers as it gets heavy. Hollie and I may go to the movies and see The Butler. The reviews have been favorable. I grieve the wasted days being unwell.

Day 184

I’m staying home today. Julia can greet the people. She has a fun spirit. Maybe she will wear her mustache again. I want a little domestic energy. The house could use some TLC. I have been inside for a week and that’s a long time for me. I like being out with people. As soon as my body responds to meds and gets its iron stores back, I’ll be looking for new volunteers spots. I like to learn.

Day 183

Another day to relax and not push the river. I will not force myself to get busy when it is unnecessary. I may stay home until the anti-biotic doses are finished on Saturday. I am not the only person who can do the duties that I will miss. Yesterday was a refreshing visit with Megan. Any time with her is a real blessing. I admire how she has pulled herself together and is moving at full speed ahead.

Day 182

Half of my 78^th year is over today. Time for a course correction. Time to commit to my health as a priority above all else. I need more information about ways to get my Tigger bounce back. There are options for restoring iron to my depleted system and I want to explore them. The supplement is not tolerable to my stomach. I don’t need more pain. I did the Epley maneuver on myself. Maybe it worked. Not sure.

Day 181

A lovely long dinner with friends is a wonderful treat. Eileen took Susanne and me to Good Harvest as a thank-you for gallery sitting while she took a college computer class. We had a lot to talk about and share. It brought back memories of our women’s group and the events we had together. Change is happening. The gallery will close, the museum will close for the season, no school duty. What’s next? First I must get healthy.

Day 180

A vertigo episode erased my agenda yesterday. I was on a tilt-a-whirl for a few seconds that left me feeling dull and unwell. I’m taking an anti-biotic for an infection, iron/C supplement for the lack of stored iron, extra vitamin D3, and mechlizine for the dizzies. Darn it all, not my idea of how to spend the day. Julia took the senior center duty and Hollie took the massage appointment and brought hot&sour soup. Hooray for supporting people.

Day 179

All the blood tests came back normal except the iron binding and iron capacity scores. I don’t know enough about it or why my body isn’t storing iron. I already eat iron rich foods and I will take the supplement.  I told Tonda that I’ve been feeling that I have no reserves. I meant energy, patience, oxygen etc. and those are the very symptoms. Today I will concentrate on all the healthy parts and treat the needy ones.

Day 178

Instead of making plans that are too often not what is going to happen, I choose to live in the present moment. Lately, as soon as I think I know what is going on, that isn’t it. If I live one moment at a time I can’t be surprised or disappointed, no expectations lead to no resentments or regrets. All that is about the appointment this afternoon. The results of the blood test have been on my mind. 

Day 177

My energy is much better, finally. After a couple of flat weeks, I want to get back to feeling well and active. Yesterday I connected the editor of Senior News with the editor of the Triplicate for a photo for the September issue. I like connecting and stepping back. I’ll be happy in advance as I know it will be a good day and I will take my place in the community with optimism and a positive attitude. 

Day 176

I did go to church yesterday. That was all. Chris brought me a slice of fresh salmon. That was a treat. Today the dogs go to the groomer. I can catch up on the errands that nobody did for me! I’ll move more and eat less. My gay friends Boyd and Harald were married yesterday in Minnesota. Their four year old daughter Juliette was part of the ceremony. It’s about time for the law to catch up with reality.

Day 175

I didn’t go outside except to get the mail. Too weary for the amount of effort I have made. Something else is going on that is draining my energy. It can’t all be stress, can it? Today I will take the dogs out for a walk to the post office. They haven’t been out for at least two weeks. The weather may be more comfortable today. We aren’t used to humidity at this level. I want more activity.

Day 174

Yes, fences. Don’t need to dwell on the subject. Done and paid for. Now I can plan landscaping. Without all the trees, there is so much light. I want useful trees, three apples and two plums. Next month sounds like the time to get them in the ground. Today I go looking for peaches at the farmers’ market. Might indulge in an oatmeal cranberry cookie too. I need a day of rest. Too much activity wears me out.

Day 173

Better start for today. I did get the blood tests and Minnie didn’t throw up on the couch. She did wet on the rug however. The dogs are upset by the lack of freedom due to no fences in the backyard. Henry is already working and hopefully, the fence will be done today. I need an errand run. Seems I run out of the same things about the same time. Where is my energy when I need it?

Day 172

Today has not had a positive start so it can only get better. Went before 7 for a fasting blood test, waited a half hour and then didn’t get the test. The coffee is perking. I can go tomorrow when the paperwork is straightened out. There were people all day yesterday. It was fun, social, and the connections were meaningful. Now the fence post holes are on the agenda. It seemed like a simple plan and is complicated.

Day 171

Yesterday was the best energy day in a long time. I guess I oiled the gears with gratitude. It was my favorite kind of day with connections and communication. I enjoy days with parts: people, alone, busy, resting, planning, remembering and simply being. I like my choices most of the time. I wore out my upset with express scripts and will dump them for next year. It will be people today at the museum and the art gallery. 

Day 170

No wind for my sails yesterday so I decided to count my blessings. I always have energy for that. Hot chocolate chip cookies baked with love that arrive from next door just as I’m ready to hit the floor with fatigue, long phone conversations with Megan catching up with her life and applauding her progress, Hollie, the church family and the feeling when we hold hands for the Lord’s Prayer, my dogs and my place in the community.

Day 169

John measured for the fence and put in stakes. Now I have to wait for the builder.. It sounded so simple at the beginning of the project. I raked up more bags of leaves and debris and the helper took care of the hard part. All cleared away now. I felt that last week was full of delays and on-holds. Today didn’t start any better with a long pointless call to express scripts. I will change my pharmacy.

Day 168

Yesterday was pure rest and relax. I felt the busy week in my shoulders and neck. After Sarah’s massage, I could hardly move. It’s OK to have a day off from planning and doing. I don’t have to earn a day with no product, just take it. After the church service complete with two baptisms, I hope to get busy with bagging up leaves again. Chuck is coming to measure the property so the fence can get going

Day 167

Long thoughts in the night about the snags along the way and how I handle them. I do not like being on hold, I do like speaking up for myself and asking for what I want, I do get frustrated by rules I didn’t know about, I don’t like feeling scammed by entities like express scripts that are supposed to help my well-being, I do like making new choices, I like asking enough questions to satisfy my understanding.

Day 166

No yard work but a wonderful wedding experience. Jon went to witness and photograph. He and Chris went the day before to scope out a perfect setting and it was a sacred spot. The Mississippi couple were pleased with their event and went up the Oregon coast on their wedding trip. I love the minister part of my life. I feel an energy to make the wedding personal and spiritual. I know I have succeeded by the response.

Day 165

The tiredness turned out to be a prelude to cold symptoms. Today is a treat: I get to perform a wedding out in the redwoods. It is a part of my life that I enjoy. I love going into Nature to join couples in the presence of the forest or the ocean. Makes a colorful memory. Then I hope to have the fence line cleared. Once the property is measured and a line drawn, the fence can begin.

Day 164

Yesterday was smoother than I expected thanks to Chris. An overscheduled day evened out and was not only manageable but fun. J Street Writers are a high spot in the month as we share our personal stories and our writing. They are true friends and we support each other. Today is museum duty. I enjoy the visitors and their travel stories. I need to catch up on errands and rest. I’m feeling overly tired from too many plans.

Day 163

I looked at the mess on the fence line and wilted. It felt overwhelming. I found the phone number for Daily Bread Ministries and made an appointment for their yard crew to come on Thursday to do the work. I know when I have met my limitations. As soon as that is done, the measurement taken, the fence project can begin. I will have about three more feet of backyard and about the same on the side yard. 

Day 162

Yesterday was an August C. City scene: Chris and I sitting with her fresh peach ice cream in front of the fireplace, fog to the ground, 55 degrees outside. Lovely warm fire going, wonderful treat. Jon moved the woodpile, I picked up the smallest limbs. Today I will find help to clear the fence line and onward with the project. The yard will be ready for new plantings in time for the early rain. I love my neighbors.

Day 161

I raked up six black bags of leaves and debris. It hardly made a dent in the mess but I was through. How have I chosen to work alone for most of my life? It would be pleasant to have a partner to sweat with, take breaks with, discuss plans with and I was alone. It is a choice and mostly I’m content then I find myself speaking out loud and wishing there was another person to answer.

Day 160

Today it’s back to yard clearing. Once the leaves are gone, it will be easier to keep the yard neat. I’m bagging up the leaves to take to the transfer station to be mulched. The work showed in my muscles. It’s good to be tired from doing something positive. The yard is emerging from its blanket of dead leaves and weeds. I’m pleased that it is finally done after procrastinating for years. I just needed to do it.

Day 159

Mine, along with the taxes, maintenance, neighborhood issues, etc. There is no place that I would rather live so developing my plot is important. I feel that the changed yard is a blank canvas and how I paint it is up to my imagination, abilities, and interests. I do want trees but this time, useful ones. Busy day: tree removal, distribute the Senior News, trip to Blueberry Hill, get the farm box, and get started on yard cleaning.

Day 158

It’s dark in the morning already. Today the old fence in the little yard is coming down, then the trees will come down, and then new fences. I’m looking forward to landscaping instead of only a dog yard. I found the plot map and know the dimensions of my property, 120 feet long and 72 feet wide, plus a few inches. My little piece of the Earth. I’m excited about the potential use of it. Mine, all mine.

Senior News column

Most of us are no longer connected to the educational system however the opening of school in September brings changes to daily routines. Back to school means the days are shorter and nights are cooler, and there is a structure that we don’t have in the summer. August is our last chance to enjoy summer.

Remember last winter on a long wet dark cold day, an agenda formed for next summer. The list included both recreational goals and house and yard chores. It’s time to take a look at that list as summer is coming to an end. I have the best intentions when it comes to using my time and energy. I have walked most days, changed to vegan eating, pulled a ton of weeds, enjoyed visiting, written a few cards and notes. However my list has unfinished projects that I will take care of right now, or later. The garden shed needs to be emptied and reassembled. It is a handy place to stuff items while deciding about keeping them, reusing, or deleting them from the inventory. Garden shed means tools and products. It doesn’t mean old shelving, “good” boxes that might be useful some day or nearly empty paint cans that I know I won’t need. I still need to paint the trim around the new windows that were installed last winter. There are windows that need washing inside and out. Of course, those overgrown shrubs need the clippers to bring them down to size. Better get busy as time goes by way too fast.

I haven’t taken a long walk on the beach or in the redwoods. I haven’t walked 10,000 steps in one day. I haven’t made a picnic lunch to share with a friend. I haven’t made a recreational shopping trip. I haven’t tried new recipes with my fresh farm vegetables. I haven’t visited a museum in another town. When visitors come to our museum, I enjoy their stories about other places they have seen. I’m proud to say that our museum compares favorably. Those two junk drawers that were actually on my winter list of things to do are still waiting. I know I can get delete and relocate enough stuff to reduce my junk to one drawer.

I intend to use August days to check off the recreational items. If I get to the house and yard ones, good for me. If not, well, there’s always next summer.

Most of us are no longer connected to the educational system however the opening of school in September brings changes to daily routines. Back to school means the days are shorter and nights are cooler, and there is a structure that we don’t have in the summer. August is our last chance to enjoy summer.