Day 310

Had an energy disconnect and spent the rest of yesterday flat. Today will be better and Kelle and I can walk. No agenda. An open day to do whatever we want. I’m hoping for the house chores like painting the front door. She offered to help clean out the garden shed. I’m not sure I’m up for that much work. I want to make the most of Kelle’s visit with fun activities. It’s her rest and vacation time. 

Day 309

No house chores but furniture moved around. Maybe today things can be accomplished. We did have a long warm walk. Kelle finally went through Battery Point Lighthouse. The other times she tried, it was closed. She liked the claw foot bathtub the best. I like the bedroom that looks on the ocean and the passing parade of whales and fishing boats. I’m enjoying Kelle’s visit. We will get out and walk again this afternoon after senior center duty.

Day 308

Hollie went with us and we had another good day with recreational shopping followed by CA burgers at Lucky Seven. It is a jumbo-sized meal that runs down the chin and also down the arms! I found new walking shoes, a couple of tops, and gray pants. Kelle buys socks there. After church, we are doing the house chores I’ve saved for her: the picket that fell out of the fence and the paint on the front door.

Day 307

I had strange dreams about being assertive with people who were trying to manipulate me into a combative scenario. I woke up feeling good about defending myself and telling the other person off. I wonder where that came from! I don’t have any drama going on in the daytime. Today Kelle and I are going to Brookings to shop. She likes to go to Freddie’s and always finds something she’s been looking for. I need good walking shoes.

Day 306

This weather has been perfect for walking. I enjoy getting out during the middle of the day when there is considerable heat in the Sun. I saw Tonda yesterday and had a blood test. Here’s hoping for a report that the values are up and I’m doing well with my routine. Today I’ll be out distributing Senior News and walking again. Kelle will have an I Ching reading with Eileen and a massage with Sarah. All is well.

Day 305

It was a good family day. The weather was warm and pleasant inside and outside. Megan and Butters were fun to be with and Meg’s cookies were delicious. The haunch of musk ox and roots, our traditional Christmas dinner, were perfect too. I enjoyed the tour of Hollie and Chuck’s property. The terraces and rock walls are well placed and well done. Kelle enjoyed the family dinner that had no stress and drama that she avoided at home.

Day 304

The dinner was fun, and satisfying. It gave me confidence that I can entertain on a small scale and that is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. The day was long and I felt a lack of energy so that by the time the friends left, I had to go to bed. No church service. I missed being there and my choice was the only one I could make. Family day today.

Day 303

Another busy day coming up. Hollie and I will shop for dinner tomorrow and the house will get a tidying for dinner this evening. Kelle fixed her signature lasagna and it’s going in the oven just in time for Karen and Chris’ arrival. Kelle’s family tradition is lasagna on Christmas Eve. Carol singing happens at church at 7 followed by the service. The church always looks festive with candles and greenery. No decorations in my house. Not one.

Day 302

Kelle arrived safely after her trip from Long Beach. Today, after my duty at the senior center, we will shop for the ingredients she needs for her lasagna for dinner tomorrow evening. She wants to walk a lot. Her job and family obligations keep her indoors most of the time so even in sunny southern Ca. she is vitamin D deficient. Thankfully the weather will work for walking with a bundle of clothes. It is winter after all.

Day 301

I learned yesterday that I don’t want to do my own housework. Yes, I can do it and I would rather pay someone to do it for me. I’ve been acting as if it’s exercise, and it is, and it drains my energy for the rest of the day. Maybe when I feel healthier, it will be fun again. I do enjoy the feeling of looking around and knowing that I have taken good care of my home.

Day 300

Winter Solstice Day, shortest day, nine hours of light, and the Sun’s Birthday. Now we can add a couple of new light minutes each day and celebrate every one of them. Meanwhile, plans must be made for Kelle’s visit. She is an easy houseguest who takes care of herself without a fuss. This is her rest and relaxation place where she can read and walk without family or work interfering. I support her leaving her stress at home.

Day 299

I’m gearing up for Kelle’s visit. Today I will clean her room. I have a grocery list and errands that will make me comfortable too. I am alone so much that having another person in house takes getting used to, again. We have plans. She likes to have a project and that will depend on the weather. If it’s dry, I may get her to paint the window frames that I didn’t do last summer. We’ll have fun.

Day 298

I was able to write “good day” in the log book again. I love to write that. Too many days say less positive things about how I’m doing with my health. The walks feel so good and knowing that they are also for the dogs gets me motivated. I’m better at doing things for other people than for myself. I have to remind myself that I don’t feel any better when I’m sitting still and staring at TV.

Day 297

It was over 70 in Brookings. The dogs were cared for at the vet: Minnie for  rabies vaccination and Della for parvo. Today I will register the microchips on line. After shopping we went to Chan’s for lunch. It was Kim’s favorite place. We met there often. Hollie and I have both had him on our minds a lot. I keep telling him to go, get well, and figure out how all the awful things happened to him.

Day 296

Hollie and I are going to Brookings this morning. The dogs are having microchips implanted and Minnie will get her rabies vaccination. One day last week the gate was open when I came home. Minnie was next door snooping in the yard and Della was sitting in the driveway. She jumped in the car and Minnie came tearing around the fence. It frightened me. The chips will help just in case. A little shopping and lunch will follow.

Day 295

This morning the internet was out! I wandered like I was looking for my best friend. OK, I’m dependent on the connection from my kitchen to the world. At church I asked Fr. David for prayers for the Fukashima workers and there was a raise in consciousness about this world disaster. Praying is about the only thing we can do. Yesterday’s storyteller was interesting. I like to listen to stories and these were Native American explanations about nature.

Day 294

Hollie came to practice tai chi chih and it didn’t work. We don’t know enough yet to do it without a guide. We’ll get it with a couple more lessons. It looks simpler than it is. I watched a bunch of smarmy predictable Christmas movies that are designed to produce holiday spirit. That’s as close as I’m going to engage in the Christmas rush. After church I’m going to the historical society meeting. The program is a storyteller.

Day 293

The fog is right down to the ground. The street lights give off an eerie glow. Today I want to get outside and do something in the yard. It shows the lack of attention. There are needs like trimming the hedge and cutting down the hydrangeas. They are all dried up and brown. The new fence line needs a plan. I may want a couple of apple trees or something that doesn’t need any care like tea trees.

Day 292

A day with no agenda. I want to use it well. There have been many lost hours lately and I don’t like the feeling when the day is over. I’ve had the paper journal open on the table all week waiting to write about coping with the seasonal droop. I need to move more and eat less. Food is close and legal but the result is not satisfying. I feel happier when I am taking care of myself. 

Day 291

Surprised at how the hour of standing vertically, gently moving my weight from front to back on my feet, and using arm movements that are small and slow, can make me as tired physically as half on the treadmill. The stretching, the relaxation, and the focus last for hours. I’m enjoying the tai chi chih practice. Hollie and I will practice together on Saturday after her water therapy. I’m confident about half of the movements without a guide.

Day 290

Yesterday was kind of flat. The high point was the massage with Karen. She adds to my well-being with more than the massage. She adds energy to her movements. I confessed to symptoms of depression and she reframed it as hibernation, a natural response to the season. Oriah’s post this morning talked about the uneasiness that assails many people this time of year. I’m not alone with the memories, physical flatness, and free-floating anxiety. It’s a difficult time.

Day 289

Still uncomfortably cold inside and outside. A slight warming trend is on its way. I’ll be happy with 40! Our recorder teacher is taking a month off and gave us a bunch of homework. I want to learn to play the instrument and the learning curve is steep. It seems to take a lot longer to get muscle memory as I get older. It’s true for the tai chi chih movements too. I want to do both well.

Day 288

Monday, Monday and it’s a couple of degrees warmer. I’m looking forward to eating the fresh crab that Steve brought last evening. He cleaned and cooked it too, making even more of a special gift. Last year Gene brought live crabs and I did the whole thing. Not my favorite. I enjoy crab once a year. Had a long talk with Kelle about her visit in two weeks. She likes to have a project while she is here.

Day 287

We had fun and sold a lot of stuff too. It was a brisk walk that made pink cheeks. Chris and Jon made it to Portland through the snow and are now in Hawaii for a week! I have no desire to travel even to a sunny place with warm breezes. Today is a day to practice the recorder and tai chi after church. It’s the only way to get both exercises firmly in mind and muscle memory.

Day 286

And Dr. E. says the retina is stable. The breaks occurred in 1989 and after three laser spot welds, it is holding just fine. It was a bleak day and today is the same. I will walk to the fairgrounds for the Christmas bazaar to work in the historical society display with Rick Bennett. We like to work together. It is usually a social occasion and I enjoy the crowds. That space calls for warm clothes and coffee.

Day 285

Another freezing morning. I live here to avoid cold and hot weather. What’s going on? There may even be some white stuff here this evening. That I can definitely do without. I wrote my January column yesterday and I like it. It will go off to Kathy in a few minutes. I see Dr. E. this afternoon. He will dilate my eyes for the annual peek into the retina. I’m hoping he will say that it is stable.

Day 284

The Tai Chi Chih looks so relaxed and slow, only slight weight transfer from front to back with the feet and minimal arm movements. So why is it so exhausting? It must be the concentration on breathing and maintaining the pace. I like the practice. I feel it is beneficial to all my systems. Hollie and I will stay with it. It’s fun to do something with her regularly since there is no longer a school time together.

Day 283

Journal time was great. Chris served Earl Grey Cream tea and baklava while we read and talked. Carol looks a bit better and will see her doctor later this month. It was a chatty day with visits and errands. I like days with a variety of people and activity. Chris brought me turkey pot pie and it was delicious. My neighbors include me often and it’s the first time that I can remember that feeling. I am blessed.

Day 282

I’m finding the recorder class stimulating. Maybe it’s learning a new skill or maybe it’s increasing my breathing. I do get tired by the end of the hour and sort of squeak the high notes. I will keep up with the lessons. Today is J Street Journals at Chris’ house. Carol, Chris, and I catch up with our personal lives. I don’t have anything new to share. I’ll look in the doc file and find an old one.

The Glories of Morning  

One of the best things about retirement is waking up naturally.  In the years since I lived by the clock, I have used my alarm clock only a dozen times!  All the other mornings I have awakened when I was ready to move from the restfulness of night into the busyness of day.  The word morning comes from the word morn.  It is a verb and it means the purity of rejuvenation; being made young again. Now my body knows that my age is the same as when I went to bed the night before but my mind and spirit get to have that brief but fascinating interval before fully awakening.  It is a time of waiting and preparation for the coming day.  Dreams come back and want attention, plans for coming events are reviewed, incomplete agenda are questioned, and imagination has its time in the spotlight of consciousness.

Mornings are so essential to my well-being that I protect them.  I do this by rarely making any appointments before 10 A. M.  The morning routine is more like a ritual and I hold it dear. When I am fully conscious, I want to spring out of bed and greet the day.  Sometimes the spring feels as if it has sprung, but the mind is willing to be confident and optimistic.  When anyone says, “Have a good day”, my reply is, “Of course I will.  That’s why I got out of bed this morning!”  People smile.

First comes letting the dogs outside to make their rounds of the yard and report any findings.  Then I go to the CD collection and randomly select one.  Often I don’t look at what I have chosen.  I simply know that whatever it is, it will be perfect for my mood. When I have ground up the coffee beans and started the machine, I turn on my computer, then go to the front porch and collect the morning papers.  I read my e-mail and respond.  I love e-mail.  I can be out in the world and sitting in my pajamas at the same time. After a scan of the papers, usually avoiding hard news, my journals get their attention.  I keep at least two journals, one as a logbook, one with commentaries, and the blog.  The logbook is a 10+ year with only four lines per day.  The fun part is looking back at previous years to see what I was up to. I keep track of the weather with little symbols.  In the commentary journal, I write about how I feel about the events I record in the logbook.  One reason for this is to have more of the things/people/activities that I enjoy in each day. After whatever time it takes to doodle, paste in pictures, add a stamp or a sticker, and document my life, I am ready for the outdoors and the appreciation of this beautiful place where I get to live.  Not one day goes by without a visit to the ocean.  I enjoy each of its many moods, colors, and energies.  After all of these personally satisfying elements of making myself young again, I am ready to go out and conquer the world!

Day 281

Rainy morning. Smells good outside. I’ll get practice on the recorder in this morning so I do well at the lesson this evening. It will be a small group at the senior center as it is not a favorite menu. I like my job of greeting and making people feel good about being there. And I can finish the last of the senior news distribution. I’m looking forward to a busy week with people after this slow week. 

Day 280

December 1, the beginning of Advent, the day I stop going to stores except quick trips for groceries, and the darkest days of the year. After church, I am going to do more sorting and deleting. I’m on a roll. The plan is to collect unnecessary stuff and when Kelle is here, I’ll call Daily Bread Ministries to come and get it. They are still my favorite charity since their help when Kim died. Everybody wins that way.

December Senior News 

Remember when your Mother told you not to play in your food? There just might be some creative ways to do it. Even though I’m not recommending finger painting with chocolate syrup, I am suggesting a recreational shopping trip to your grocery store. Plan a quiet shopping time away from times when lines are long and shoppers are in a hurry. You will want to mosey along looking from top to bottom in all the aisles. It’s important to go to the shelves that are not on your usual path. That is where gems of new ideas may be waiting. Take time to see what brings curiosity about the possibilities of new taste treats.

I started at a cold case where I spotted fresh pasta. There is a soy noodle called shiritaki that caught my eye. Good for people who don’t eat wheat. There were cooking instructions on the package. I’m glad I had my glasses with me. The print was small. I moved on to packaged greens. Greens are nutritious and I was glad to see kale, chard, spinach along with the usual lettuce. There are fresh herbs bundled with labels that have recipe ideas on them. The bread display is amazing. A whole wall of choices. I picked up whole grain pita bread and Killer Dave bread to try. Another large selection appeared in the soup department. I often use boxed chicken broth and here were vegetable and beef too along with seasoned mixes of Mexican, Thai, and Chinese flavors. That brings up exciting menu ideas. Off to the ethnic aisle with a huge sauce display. I found orange sauce, Kung Pao, spicy blends, Thai peanut  sauce, sweet and sour, and red curry, all with recipes on the label. Those will wake up the taste buds for sure. Down the aisle were the grains. I use pearl barley and rice but there are so many varieties of both, and  rice mixes that are seasoned with exotic spices and herbs. I found grains that I didn’t know before this excursion such as red quinoa, farro, Arborio. Couscous, and basmati. Altogether I had twelve new items in my grocery cart and a whole new appreciation for the fact that world foods are available right here in my grocery store. Since most foods have recipes and serving suggestions on their products, I don’t have to look far for how to incorporate them into my diet. I only have 400 words so the rest of the discoveries are yours.